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Where Do I Begin?

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How would you feel if you were communicating with a child abused by a parent? Would you feel:
 

• Protective of the child?
• Supportive?
• Your eyes shining with feeling?

When facing the abuser would you:
 

• Communicate your concerns?
• Shine with righteous anger from your eyes?

With RAD, the child abuses the parent. The main target is the mom. So in this case, the situation is reversed. If your eyes are showing protectiveness or pity for the child, the message conveyed will cause tremendous damage. The message that needs to be conveyed is love, support, and compassion for the parent. The parent is the one who has opened their heart to a child that is attempting to break it. The child needs to get the message that their behavior is not acceptable, that you hope they stop the abuse and learn to love. To be successful in healing the child, support must go to the parent. The most support will be needed about the first six months after attachment begins.

Why So Strong?

Children with RAD need very tight structure and powerful nurturing in the beginning of the healing process. This method of parenting is modeled after the work Anne Sullivan did with Helen Keller. The purpose of this is to open the child’s heart to begin to trust and love. It is very difficult for the parent and child. Support them and they can both win!!